you were a queen

You were a queen. 

Sat high up on the throne of your sense of justice.

You were a vagabond.

Belonged nowhere. Seeing a web full of life passing by.

You were a rock star

For those ten minutes when you finally dared to.

You were a cheater.
Those times that you hid something for him. So long ago that you can’t remember exactly what anymore

You were a faithful slave
imprisoned in a nine to five system

You were a fairy tale girl.
choosing flowers in a deserted field

You were a coward
when you kept silent, both about your success as your failing

You were a genius.

With your unfulfilled feverish dreams in the middle of the night

You were a horny lover
that one time. Three men in one day.

You were an exhibitionist
showed more of your talkative skin than your surroundings could swallow

You were a bad friend

You were not there when he hurt his back, she had a miscarriage

You were a hero
that time when you stopped a thief

But most of all you were a dreamer
you let all those characters pass by in you

They held debates, pulled their weapons, sharp knives.
they reconciled, orgiastic
they were silent, hid behind waves of time
they created mist, smoke curtains
they showed themselves in sharp, sharp lines
they talked to you

Always that whispering, flamboyant people of many I’s,
their variation on that one, that all too well known story.

that hoping that things will get better later

that begging that the heart, forever,
finds its type of silence
some sort of heartbeat

and then it happens.
one day.

The queen kneels down.
the vagabond moves.
the faithful slave breaks the chains around his hands
the bad friend says “I am sorry”
the exhibitionist puts on his clothes
the coward talks, in simple ways

It feels so new
what to do now?
the details change relentlessly

Use the world.
trod her down.

Digest. Swallow. Squeeze. Dance. Fight. Fall. Hope. Sing. Pray. Cry. Beg. Do. Think. Use.

It will come.
let it grow.
have faith.